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15 Super-Potent Pot Strains with Awesome Names


While hosting the “Daily Show,” John Oliver, when speaking about medical marijuana, commented: “If you want this drug with serious medical benefits to be taken seriously, how about adulting up the names a little bit. That way a sick old man doesn’t have to ask for a quarter ounce of Rainbow Diesel Funkadelic Cheddar Harmony.”

Joking aside, the joyful and descriptive names of pot has a long and esteemed history. Here are our favorites:

1. Green Crack
A cerebral sativa-dominant strain, Green Crack rankled folks in the marijuana community with its naming nod to the cocaine derivative. Green Crack is NOT addictive, and it definitely won’t kill you. You may smoke it and then laugh until you feel like you’re going to die, though.

2. Girl Scout Cookies
The Girl Scouts of America may not like being associated with a cannabis plant named after their oh-so-delicious cookies, but this pot is fruity, spicy and goes down great with a Thin Mint. Mmmmmmm.

3. Jorge’s Diamonds #1
Beautiful glistening colas inspired Dutch breeders to name this strain after their friend and one of our favorite cultivation gurus, Jorge Cervantes. Jorge’s Diamonds #1 shines star bright, packs a crystalline punch… and what stoney girl doesn’t want to sparkle?

4. Blue Cheese
A funky, skunky hybrid of Blueberry and UK Cheese, this pot is popular with canna-sseurs. Perfect with a glass of tawny port after dinner, or perhaps infused in some dippin’ sauce for wings… Uh, we’ll be back after a snack break.

5. Purple Urkel
Steve Urkel, the geeky neighbor on “Family Matters,” was known for several catchphrases, including his “Did I do that?” Since Purple Urkel is said to be good for treating insomnia, that sounds like an excellent thing.

6. Chocolope
A minty, cocoa-y cross of OG Chocolate Thai and Cannalope Haze, Chocolope is as scrumptious as its name. We’d like to smoke a bowl of it with a glass of cold milk on the side, please.

7. Strawberry Cough
This sativa-dominant winner at the 2013 Seattle U.S. Cannabis Cup has been around for a while, and we’re not surprised. Its strawberry ambrosia and thick, delicious smoke make for a perfect buzz that will get you going… and going… and going.

8. Golden Goat
A sweet ‘n sour hybrid, Golden Goat was supposedly named for the smell of recycled soda cans rotting in the summer heat. Sticky, stinky and just what we want when we’re working on the farm. Or anywhere, really.

9. Skywalker OG
Skywalker’s OG father is… Skywalker! (That’s not a spoiler, right? We’ve all seen the movie.) This indica-heavy strain takes stoners to a galaxy far, far away with its jet-fuel aromas. Now — where has that pesky sister of his gotten to?

10. Afgooey
A clone-only strain, Afgooey will turn tokers into a pile of goo-tastic goodness. Its sugary lusciousness can transform a stressful afternoon into a sweet and lowdown sojourn.

11. Trainwreck
Like a high-speed freight train that hits you when you were looking the other way, Trainwreck can be a major blast of potency… but in this case, “All aboaaard!” Try riding this train to the end of the line for an unexpected adventure.

12. Lucky Charms
Maybe that leprechaun has the right idea. A mellow strain from Colorado, Lucky Charms could help you find the end of whatever rainbow you’re chasing. Hey, you never know — it might be a double rainbow all the way!

13. Martian Mean Green
Get off the planet for a while and visit some outer space destinations with this sativa-dominant, uplifting pot. You may end up socializing with some pretty cool extraterrestrials… or, you know, just hanging out with human friends.

14. Schnazzleberry
Perhaps with a tip of the hat to Willy Wonka’s snozzberries, Schnazzleberry is evidently great for vaping, making hash, and for getting schnazzy. Put on your wingtip shoes and cocktail attire, and puff, puff, pass.

15. Alaskan Thunderfuck
Hailing from the Manatuska Valley in the 49th state, the Alaskan Thunderfuck will thunderclap your senses with its fruity badassery. This weed from the Great White North can trigger a smoky storm that clears the skies, and your eyes.